my physics teacher told us a joke today
three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no lighters or matches or anything to light it with. What do they do?
They throw one cigarette over board and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter
A CIGARETTE LIGHTER
I ACTUALLY GET IT OH MY GOD YES
At dinner my family and I were watching TV and there was a guy on it and I was like “I know him from somewhere!” and I couldn’t figure out where I knew him from and then it that said he was a gay porn star and dinner suddenly became very awkward.
*holds up dog treat* WHO’S A GOOD BOY?? WHO’S A GOOD BOY? i am. i’m a good boy. *eats dog treat*
nobody fucked with me on the playground
nobody fucked with you in bed either
This has got to be one of the best lines of the entire movie